500+ Funny Jokes in Hindi




  • Husna ke tewar nukile ho gaye

    Ishq ke sab jod dhile ho gaye

    Aur ho gaye kuch late humm izhaar mein

    Aur unke haath pile ho gaye

    Albela Khatri.

  • Kholi Ki Laagat Se Adhik Iska Rent Hai,

    Maintainence Se Adhik Investment Hai,

    Beauty Parlour Ka Dhanda, Isse Barkarar,

    Jitna Hai Dent, Usse Adhik Ispe Paint Hai- Surya Kumar Pandey.

  • Kiya Hai Pyar Ka Ehsaan, Phir Bhi Hai Yeh Nashukrein,

    Kiye Wadein Kayi Humse, Magar Har Baar Hi Mukrein,

    Banayege Yeh Mere Wasten Ek Tajmahal Kaise,

    Hai Baatein Badshaao Si, Magar Yeh Jeb Se Fukrein - Anita Soni.

  • Patiyon ki koi aaukad nahi

    Patni mahaan hai jai bolo

    Belan ki ho barsaat nahi, Patni mahaan hai jai bolo

    Aakash utha sakti sar pe, Toofan ko laa sakti ghar pe

    Parvat ko nacha sakti kar pe, Isliye sada hi jai bolo

  • Pati raat din karta mehnat, ghar gift na laaye to aafat

    Saree, zevar se hai raahat, puri na ho maang to baat nahi

    Patni mahaan hai jai bolo


  • Pati police, collector, afsar ho

    Sau haathi sa takatvar ho

    Patni ke aage vanar ho

    Chuhaa se sher ko maat nahi, patni mahan hai jai bolo

    Raghvendra tripathi..

  • Ek sajjan ne apne mitra se kaha – tumne meri barsaati kyu pehan rakhi hai?

    Tumhare suit ko bheegne se bachane ke liye’ mitra ne uttar diya.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Ek sarkari karyalaya mein ek takniki adhikaari (T.O.) ko bada sahab bana diya gaya. Unki telephone operator se aksar anban rehti thi. Ek Baar bade sahab ne ek number maanga. Vilamb ho jaane se bade sahab chillaye – “Tum nahi jaanti main kaun hun? Mai T.O. hun.?

    Usse kya farak padta hai?? Telphone operator bhi usi tarz mein boli

    Main bhi T.O. Hun.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Ek vyakti qutub minar ki paanchvi manzil par khada tha.

    Dusre ne usko ishare se niche bulaya.

    Pehla vyakti jaldi jaldi sidhiyaan utarkar niche aaya aur bola.

    Kya baat hai??

    Dusra – Main bikhari hun, mujhe chaar aane de do.

    Pehla- “Acha deta hun…aao mere sath.? Weh usko paanchvi manzil chadhakar le gaya. Uppar jaakar bola? maaf karna tute nahi hai?.

    Sharad Garg

  • Hasya abhineta rajender nath ne apne naukar se kaha – meri ghadi band ho gayi hai.

    Station par jaakar waqt ka pata kar aao, mujhe aaj raat ki gaadi se madras jaana hai.

    Mere paas ghadi nahi hai maalik aap apni ghadi de dijiye. Naukar ne kaha – main mila launga.

    Ghadi ki kya zarurat hai bewakuf? Rajender nath ne jhalaakar kaha – kagaz par waqt likhkar nahi laa sakte kya?

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Anju mahender ne apne pati intiyaaz ke gale mein baanhe daalkar pucha – mere baalo ka rang safed ho jayega, tab bhi kya tum aise hi chahte rahoge?

    Kyun tumhein shanka kyun hui, ab tak tum kitni baar rang badal chuki ho, kya maine tumhein kabhi chaahna chhoda hain? Imtiyaaz ne muskurate hue kaha.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Anju mahendu ne maushmi chatterji se pucha – Vivahit actress shooting ke samay apne baacho ko saath kyun nahin laati?

    Usne kha – patiyon ko bhi ghar par koi kaam karna chahiye.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Apne aapko lekhak samajhne waale ek sajjann kisi prakashak ke pass gaye. Book ki paandulipi ko ulat palat kar dekhne ke baad prakashak ne kaha – “book toh kaafi dilchasp hai, lekin humari policy hai ki hum kewal prasidh naam waale lekhakon ki rachnaaye hi chhapte hain.? Lekhak mahodaya ne foran kaha – “Tab toh aur bhi acha hai, mera naam premchand hai.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Apni patni ka birthday yaad rakhne ka sabse acha dhang hai ki ek baar usey bhul jao.

    Sharad Garg

  • Arre dhansukh, gainhun mein kankad milaayi?

    Haan pita jee..

    dhaniyein mein ghode ki leed?

    Mila di jee

    aur mirchi mein eet ka burada?

    Who bhi kar diya

    toh chal, \zara mandir ho aayein.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Baat un dino ki hai jab parveen danny ke sath rehti thi. Danny ko parveen ke dosto ke sath ghumna aur raat ko der tak lautna pasand nahi tha. Ek raat kaafi der baad parveen lauti aur sidha bathroom mein gus gayi. Danny bahut der se intzaar aur irshya ki aag mein jal raha tha, baat ko sehan na kar paate hue weh apne aap badbadane laga aur zor se bola – pani sir se upar hota jaa raha hai.

  • Paveen bathroom se chillayi – darling, tumhein kaise malum hua? Bathroom ka tumhein kaise malum hua? Bathroom ka darwaza toh band hai.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Bhaashan ke pashchat neta ne ek yuvak se kaha, “aapne daawa kiya hai, ki aap jahan bhi jaate hain, wahan ke logon ko rozgar mil jaata hai, parantu humare liye to aesa kuch bhi nahin kiya.? “Kiya kaise nahin. Ye photographer, mike, tent aur khomchewale kya muft mein hain.?

    Bhikhari – Babuji, Is laachaar ki madad karein.

  • Vyaki – Tumhare hath, Piar, kaan, aankhe sabhi theek hain. Tum kaise laachaar ho?

    Bhikhari – Ji main aadat se laachaar hun.

    Sharad Garg

  • Bhikhari raah chalte ek suit waale ko rok kar – “babuji aapka purse toh nahi kho gaya??

    Suit wala – “Nahi toh.?

    Bhikhari – “Dekh lijiye,

    Shayad gir gaya ho.?

    Suit wala jeb mein hath daalkar

    Nahi bhai, mera purse toh jeb mein hi hai.? Bhikhari – “Toh phir mujhe chavanni de dijiye.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Bindu ne Nanda se pucha – tum acha gaa leti ho toh filmon mein kyun nahin gaati?

    Usne muskurate hue kha – play back singron se meri koi dushmani nahin.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Bombay mein garmi ke mausam mein achanak bijli goom ho gayi, pankhe cooler sab bekar ho gaye. Bahut der tak intezaar kiya lekin bijli nahi aayi. Aakhir garmi se pareshan hokar I.S. Johar haath ka pankha kharidne chal diye.

    Bhai yeh hath ka pankha kitne din chalega? I.S. Johar ne pankhe wale se pucha.

    Hamesha chalega’ pankhe wala bola – basharte ki aap pankha haath me lekar gardan hilate rahe.

    Toh phir gardan kitne din mein toot jayegi? Johar sahab ne pucha.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Bura samay aaya toh ek abhineta Bombay ke ek behadd saste hotel mein khana khane baitha. Ussey dekh kar bahut aashcharya hua ki uska ek abhineta mitra wahan waiter hai.

    Arey tum, aise ghatiya hotel mein aur waiter?

    Ji haan, uttar mila – lekin abhi aesi halat kharaab nahi hui ki kam se kam is hotel mein bhojan khana pade.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Charitra abhineta david se ek mitra ne Mazak mein kaaha – aapke sir par baal nahi hai isliye kanghi karne se bach jaate hain.

    Muskurate hue david sahab ne kaha – par sahab dhone ke liye chehre ki shetra toh badh gaya hai.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Cinema hall mein baithi 2 mahilayen aapas mein zor zor se baate kar rahi thi.

    Darshakon mein se ek sajjann ne unke pass jaakar vinamrata se kaha- “baate ghar jaakar kijiye… yaha picture dekhne ki kripa kijiye.?

    Ji nahi.? Ek mahila boli – “yeh hamari personal baate hai, aap beech mein bolne waale kaun hai??

    Sharad Garg

  • Comedian omprakash kahi jaa rahe the ki unka raasta ek langde bhikhari ne rokkar bhikh maangi.

    Kuch paise dete hue omprakash ne kaha – tum andhe hote toh jyada bhikh milti.

    Andha ban kar bhi dekh chukka hun. Sahab, khote sikko se tang aake langda ban gaya hun. Bikhari ne omprakash ko lajwaab kar diya.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Daddy’ bachhe ne apne baap se pucha – kuch filmi stars mandir mein bhi dhoop ka chashma laga kar jaate hai?

    Unhe darr rehta hai ki kahi bhagwan unhe pehchan kar autograph na maang baithe. Baap ne jawab diya

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Daiwar – Bhabhi, kya mere purvaj vaanar the, vaanar jaati ke the?

    Bhabhi – Mujhe nahi malum, tumhare purvajon se main kabhi mili nahi.

    Sharad Garg

  • Dant chikitsak (daant nikalne ke baad): laiye meri fees ke 25 rupye. Rogi (karahate hue) magar…aapne toh 5 rupye fees batlayi thi.

    Dant chikitsak: arey bhai, daant nikalte samay tumhare chikhne chillane se mere chaar rogi rafu chakkar ho gaye, unka muavza kaun bharega?

    Sharad Garg

  • Dewar ne bhabhi ko ek din samachaar patra ki mehtta batate hue kaha,

    Bhabhi, samachaar patra aur stri main bahut samaanta hai.? Dono ka tulnatmak vivechan karte hue bhabhi ko samjhaya – “Dono hamesha sundar lagne ka prayatan karte hain, Inhein taiyaar hone me bahut samay lagta hai. Inka bol antim bol hota hai, inka mel milaap bahut hota hai. Yeh jaha jaate hain, apne sath tarah tarah ki khabrein lekar jaate hain. Yeh apekshakrit patle rehne ki koshish karte hain aur yeh prayatek purush ke pass apni hi honi chahiye na ki padosi se maangi hui.?

    Puraane sanskaran ki bilkul maang nahi hoti.

    Sharad Garg

  • Doctor – “Tumhein ilaaj ke liye 3 din pehle aana chahiye tha. Yaha koi bistar khali nahi hain, Tumhein kaise bharti karun?

    Mariz – “Mujhe yeh maloom tha tabhi toh main ghar se apna bistar laaya hun. Bus aap mujhe bharti kar lijiye.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Doctor sahab, meri patni ki jubaan band ho gayi hai. Awaaaz hi nahi nikal rahi . Koi dawa dijiye.?

    Aap shaam ko ghar kab pahunchtey hai??

    Doctor ne pucha.

    Ji, thek 6 baje.?

    Toh aaj raat 10 baje ghar pahunchiye.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Ek aadmi bahut sharab peeta tha uske mitron ne usse bahut samjhaya ki bhai sharab mat piya karo, isse tumhare muh se badbu aati hai. Tumhein swarg mein bhi jagah nahi milegi.

    Sharabi – Chinta ki koi baat nahi hai, Main apni saans yahi chhodkar jaunga.

    Sharad Garg



  • Pati police, collector, afsar ho

    Sau haathi sa takatvar ho

    Patni ke aage vanar ho

    Chuhaa se sher ko maat nahi, patni mahan hai jai bolo

    Raghvendra tripathi..

  • Ek sajjan ne apne mitra se kaha – tumne meri barsaati kyu pehan rakhi hai?

    Tumhare suit ko bheegne se bachane ke liye’ mitra ne uttar diya.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Ek sarkari karyalaya mein ek takniki adhikaari (T.O.) ko bada sahab bana diya gaya. Unki telephone operator se aksar anban rehti thi. Ek Baar bade sahab ne ek number maanga. Vilamb ho jaane se bade sahab chillaye – “Tum nahi jaanti main kaun hun? Mai T.O. hun.?

    Usse kya farak padta hai?? Telphone operator bhi usi tarz mein boli

    Main bhi T.O. Hun.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Ek vyakti qutub minar ki paanchvi manzil par khada tha.

    Dusre ne usko ishare se niche bulaya.

    Pehla vyakti jaldi jaldi sidhiyaan utarkar niche aaya aur bola.

    Kya baat hai??

    Dusra – Main bikhari hun, mujhe chaar aane de do.

    Pehla- “Acha deta hun…aao mere sath.? Weh usko paanchvi manzil chadhakar le gaya. Uppar jaakar bola? maaf karna tute nahi hai?.

    Sharad Garg

  • Hasya abhineta rajender nath ne apne naukar se kaha – meri ghadi band ho gayi hai.

    Station par jaakar waqt ka pata kar aao, mujhe aaj raat ki gaadi se madras jaana hai.

    Mere paas ghadi nahi hai maalik aap apni ghadi de dijiye. Naukar ne kaha – main mila launga.

    Ghadi ki kya zarurat hai bewakuf? Rajender nath ne jhalaakar kaha – kagaz par waqt likhkar nahi laa sakte kya?

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Anju mahender ne apne pati intiyaaz ke gale mein baanhe daalkar pucha – mere baalo ka rang safed ho jayega, tab bhi kya tum aise hi chahte rahoge?

    Kyun tumhein shanka kyun hui, ab tak tum kitni baar rang badal chuki ho, kya maine tumhein kabhi chaahna chhoda hain? Imtiyaaz ne muskurate hue kaha.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Anju mahendu ne maushmi chatterji se pucha – Vivahit actress shooting ke samay apne baacho ko saath kyun nahin laati?

    Usne kha – patiyon ko bhi ghar par koi kaam karna chahiye.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Apne aapko lekhak samajhne waale ek sajjann kisi prakashak ke pass gaye. Book ki paandulipi ko ulat palat kar dekhne ke baad prakashak ne kaha – “book toh kaafi dilchasp hai, lekin humari policy hai ki hum kewal prasidh naam waale lekhakon ki rachnaaye hi chhapte hain.? Lekhak mahodaya ne foran kaha – “Tab toh aur bhi acha hai, mera naam premchand hai.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Apni patni ka birthday yaad rakhne ka sabse acha dhang hai ki ek baar usey bhul jao.

    Sharad Garg

  • Arre dhansukh, gainhun mein kankad milaayi?

    Haan pita jee..

    dhaniyein mein ghode ki leed?

    Mila di jee

    aur mirchi mein eet ka burada?

    Who bhi kar diya

    toh chal, \zara mandir ho aayein.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Baat un dino ki hai jab parveen danny ke sath rehti thi. Danny ko parveen ke dosto ke sath ghumna aur raat ko der tak lautna pasand nahi tha. Ek raat kaafi der baad parveen lauti aur sidha bathroom mein gus gayi. Danny bahut der se intzaar aur irshya ki aag mein jal raha tha, baat ko sehan na kar paate hue weh apne aap badbadane laga aur zor se bola – pani sir se upar hota jaa raha hai.

  • Paveen bathroom se chillayi – darling, tumhein kaise malum hua? Bathroom ka tumhein kaise malum hua? Bathroom ka darwaza toh band hai.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Bhaashan ke pashchat neta ne ek yuvak se kaha, “aapne daawa kiya hai, ki aap jahan bhi jaate hain, wahan ke logon ko rozgar mil jaata hai, parantu humare liye to aesa kuch bhi nahin kiya.? “Kiya kaise nahin. Ye photographer, mike, tent aur khomchewale kya muft mein hain.?

    Bhikhari – Babuji, Is laachaar ki madad karein.

  • Vyaki – Tumhare hath, Piar, kaan, aankhe sabhi theek hain. Tum kaise laachaar ho?

    Bhikhari – Ji main aadat se laachaar hun.

    Sharad Garg

  • Bhikhari raah chalte ek suit waale ko rok kar – “babuji aapka purse toh nahi kho gaya??

    Suit wala – “Nahi toh.?

    Bhikhari – “Dekh lijiye,

    Shayad gir gaya ho.?

    Suit wala jeb mein hath daalkar

    Nahi bhai, mera purse toh jeb mein hi hai.? Bhikhari – “Toh phir mujhe chavanni de dijiye.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Bindu ne Nanda se pucha – tum acha gaa leti ho toh filmon mein kyun nahin gaati?

    Usne muskurate hue kha – play back singron se meri koi dushmani nahin.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Bombay mein garmi ke mausam mein achanak bijli goom ho gayi, pankhe cooler sab bekar ho gaye. Bahut der tak intezaar kiya lekin bijli nahi aayi. Aakhir garmi se pareshan hokar I.S. Johar haath ka pankha kharidne chal diye.

    Bhai yeh hath ka pankha kitne din chalega? I.S. Johar ne pankhe wale se pucha.

    Hamesha chalega’ pankhe wala bola – basharte ki aap pankha haath me lekar gardan hilate rahe.

    Toh phir gardan kitne din mein toot jayegi? Johar sahab ne pucha.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Bura samay aaya toh ek abhineta Bombay ke ek behadd saste hotel mein khana khane baitha. Ussey dekh kar bahut aashcharya hua ki uska ek abhineta mitra wahan waiter hai.

    Arey tum, aise ghatiya hotel mein aur waiter?

    Ji haan, uttar mila – lekin abhi aesi halat kharaab nahi hui ki kam se kam is hotel mein bhojan khana pade.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Charitra abhineta david se ek mitra ne Mazak mein kaaha – aapke sir par baal nahi hai isliye kanghi karne se bach jaate hain.

    Muskurate hue david sahab ne kaha – par sahab dhone ke liye chehre ki shetra toh badh gaya hai.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Cinema hall mein baithi 2 mahilayen aapas mein zor zor se baate kar rahi thi.

    Darshakon mein se ek sajjann ne unke pass jaakar vinamrata se kaha- “baate ghar jaakar kijiye… yaha picture dekhne ki kripa kijiye.?

    Ji nahi.? Ek mahila boli – “yeh hamari personal baate hai, aap beech mein bolne waale kaun hai??

    Sharad Garg

  • Comedian omprakash kahi jaa rahe the ki unka raasta ek langde bhikhari ne rokkar bhikh maangi.

    Kuch paise dete hue omprakash ne kaha – tum andhe hote toh jyada bhikh milti.

    Andha ban kar bhi dekh chukka hun. Sahab, khote sikko se tang aake langda ban gaya hun. Bikhari ne omprakash ko lajwaab kar diya.

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Daddy’ bachhe ne apne baap se pucha – kuch filmi stars mandir mein bhi dhoop ka chashma laga kar jaate hai?

    Unhe darr rehta hai ki kahi bhagwan unhe pehchan kar autograph na maang baithe. Baap ne jawab diya

    Pradeep Kumar Garg

  • Daiwar – Bhabhi, kya mere purvaj vaanar the, vaanar jaati ke the?

    Bhabhi – Mujhe nahi malum, tumhare purvajon se main kabhi mili nahi.

    Sharad Garg

  • Dant chikitsak (daant nikalne ke baad): laiye meri fees ke 25 rupye. Rogi (karahate hue) magar…aapne toh 5 rupye fees batlayi thi.

    Dant chikitsak: arey bhai, daant nikalte samay tumhare chikhne chillane se mere chaar rogi rafu chakkar ho gaye, unka muavza kaun bharega?

    Sharad Garg

  • Dewar ne bhabhi ko ek din samachaar patra ki mehtta batate hue kaha,

    Bhabhi, samachaar patra aur stri main bahut samaanta hai.? Dono ka tulnatmak vivechan karte hue bhabhi ko samjhaya – “Dono hamesha sundar lagne ka prayatan karte hain, Inhein taiyaar hone me bahut samay lagta hai. Inka bol antim bol hota hai, inka mel milaap bahut hota hai. Yeh jaha jaate hain, apne sath tarah tarah ki khabrein lekar jaate hain. Yeh apekshakrit patle rehne ki koshish karte hain aur yeh prayatek purush ke pass apni hi honi chahiye na ki padosi se maangi hui.?

    Puraane sanskaran ki bilkul maang nahi hoti.

    Sharad Garg

  • Doctor – “Tumhein ilaaj ke liye 3 din pehle aana chahiye tha. Yaha koi bistar khali nahi hain, Tumhein kaise bharti karun?

    Mariz – “Mujhe yeh maloom tha tabhi toh main ghar se apna bistar laaya hun. Bus aap mujhe bharti kar lijiye.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Doctor sahab, meri patni ki jubaan band ho gayi hai. Awaaaz hi nahi nikal rahi . Koi dawa dijiye.?

    Aap shaam ko ghar kab pahunchtey hai??

    Doctor ne pucha.

    Ji, thek 6 baje.?

    Toh aaj raat 10 baje ghar pahunchiye.?

    Sharad Garg

  • Ek aadmi bahut sharab peeta tha uske mitron ne usse bahut samjhaya ki bhai sharab mat piya karo, isse tumhare muh se badbu aati hai. Tumhein swarg mein bhi jagah nahi milegi.

    Sharabi – Chinta ki koi baat nahi hai, Main apni saans yahi chhodkar jaunga.

    Sharad Garg

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